By: T.D. Dickinson

We are ALL promised many things in life if we Honor God, (more than 8000, just to give you an idea) but there is one thing that we are all promised, - that to be born, truly is to die.  Death is a promise however many of us look at it as a punishment, a final declaration of absence, totality, FOREVER.  But what if death was the beginning.  Not death in the physical sense, but death in every other sense that we know. 

 What if the way you saw the world died, and in that death, new vision was born?  What do you think you would see? 

 What if the way you heard the world ceased to exist and now you hear the musician God at play?  What would you hear?  

 What if the way you smelled the world died, and food did not smell the same to you anymore?  You may soon find that this has a huge effect on how things taste to you. My oh my, what would happen to your waist line?  This may even trickle over to anything that gives you a bad taste in your mouth. 

 What if the world did not feel the same to you anymore?  Can you imagine how someone’s touch can now affect your life? Or how about your touch’s effect on another, now that you feel different about life?

On this journey of transformation, I realized that there would be no transformation without death, and this death had to come from me willingly, a surrender.  Surrendering to your past, everything about you. Your past is where all of your memories lie, and for me, I held my memories closer than reality.  For surrender would mean I would have to remember.  

I had to go through a process of dying, growing, becoming, accepting, surrendering, embracing, dying, growing, becoming, accepting, surrendering, embracing, and I pray to repeat this cycle for the rest of my days.  For each and every time I die, I am reborn, stronger, more resilient, more determined, more purpose driven.

I have lost a lot in my life, and during this time, I suffered greatly with these losses.  My mother once told me, there is a such thing as proper guilt and inappropriate guilt.  I have always been able to see the birds eye view of life, even as a child, so I would always be able to see where both parties could have done better.  My issue would always be that I would try too hard to reconcile, often opening the door with my side of an apology even if my percentage of the guilt was on the lesser side the other.  This taught people that it was ok to hurt me, and this would 99.9% of the time end the disagreement with me not getting an apology reciprocated.  I am no victim, because in remembering, I had to be honest with myself and admit (to myself most importantly) where I failed.

I WAS A PEOPLE PLEASER! 

Google’s AI overview definition of people pleaser is someone who prioritizes the needs and desires of others over their own, often at the expense of their own well-being and happiness.  It goes on to say that that they have a strong NEED to be LIKED and ACCEPTED by others and may struggle to say

NO or assert their own boundaries.  This behavior is often rooted in a deep-seated fear of rejection or abandonment. 

Google said it, not me, so here is what I say that I was……

A person who is so desperate to not lose a friend or loved one simply because they are scared of lonely, should be embraced, not mocked. For there is a wounded child underneath all of that “faker” of every single people pleaser out there. The end result of 43 years of people pleasing, allowing my boundaries to be crossed to the point where they did not exist at all, has made me a lone wolf in the end.  

People pleasing is deeply rooted in self-pity as well. Begging for someone to love you because you do not love yourself is also an oxymoron, a double conundrum, freakin impossible in our world.  The universal law of “As above, so below” or “You reap what you so”, this Golden Rule or Universal Law proves the insanity of the concept of a people pleaser. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves on the people pleaser bashing train…….

People pleasing is often associated with “pick me’s” of modern cultural insult, but if one take a moment a look deeper than the surface of this often annoying-to-others-but-even-more-devastating-to-the-possessor’s personality or archetype, you will often find a very hurt child, someone screaming for love and attention, not because they love it and crave it, but maybe because they would like to know what it feels like to be loved or at least what they assume love is.  Or even crave what they assume having attention would feel like.  They are often neglected children who have grown into adults without any knowledge on how to love themselves and sadly, no knowledge on how to love or receive love from others.

So very often do we, as humans, judge and condemn those who are different than the societal norm and this is solely due to our human nature.  Historically, we fear what we do not understand, but in modern society, what we fear, we try to eliminate by grouping together in gossip and banter. The actual fact that there are so many group chats about that one person at your job or school or church or family that is excluded and is often the topic of discussion or the pun of many side jokes is why God tells us why He sent his Only Begotten Son to save us.  John 3:16 states that “For God so loved the world that he gave his Only Begotten Son, that who so ever believe in him shall not perish but have ever lasting life”.  

This particular verse is quite famous amongst a lot of us Luke-warm enthusiast of Christianity.  Many people wear such a beautiful promise from God in their hearts, engraving its words in their souls for retrieval at any point with the book, but we all should read a little bit further where it says in John 3:17 that, “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world: but that the world through him might be saved”.  To be a follower of Christ, we must remember to show compassion for those who are not as far along on The Way as others.  In this condemnation, does Christ loose.  

Cruelty is often seen as a lack of mental and emotional intellect.  Many people shy away from society and help and guidance from spiritual organizations because people fear being vulnerable.  Whispers, secret group chats, and inside jokes talk that society do behind the backs of those in need of help and direction is a major contributing factor to why the lost choose to remain lost.  Some choosing to leave this life without wanting to be found.

 But if we trust in God, lean not on own understandings, acknowledge God in everything that we do, then He will direct our paths, no matter how hard the path me seem, no matter the weeds that grow in the wake of your arrival.  Just arrived.  Just show up, be resilient. Watch how God straighten everything out.

 Jude 22 reassures us “And we must show mercy to those whose faith is wavering”.  It goes on further to instructs the writer, reader, hearer, and doer to “Resue others by snatching them from the flames of judgement.”  He goes on to still cation them in the same verse, “…Show mercy to still others, do so with great caution, hating the sins that condemn their lives”.  Forgive everything, leaving the enemy no room to dwell within you.

HATE THE SIN, LOVE THE SINNER

I believe that God the Father is the one true God, Jesus Christ, the Risen One, is the Son, who died showing the world and Our Father that:

We are worth saving because it is possible for us to achieve what He put us here to do, and through the Holy Spirit, we all have the greatest helper, the greatest assistant your soul could ever choose. I no longer am a people pleaser, I am a God Pleaser ONLY.

I no longer care if what I do pleases any human being on this earth because I aim to please God and God alone.  I died a beautiful death.  It was hard but I am grateful, because with Christ I gained a new life. Remember who you are, who’s you are, and why you are here.